After working delegently on our paperwork, we decided to go back to the orphange to have more of a final chat on the papers we have submitted so far as well as to find out the next step in the process.
While we sat in the meeting room discusssing paperwork, we were asked how ready we were to take a child home. We said we were ready whenever. So the relooked at our application and asked us whether we had a reason for wanting a girl child only. We said that we wanted a girl child because we felt we would do a larger good by adopting a girl as boys in Indian society find homes much easier. Upon which they had a discussion with us and changed our application to a child of either sex since we would not say no to a male child should we like one.
Post which they suggested we meet a few children male / female who fell in the age range we were looking for.
So we waited at the reception and they brought over first a boy. His age was around one and a half years and he appeared a little tiny for his age. Also, he had been woken up from his nap, I think, cause he seemed a bit sleepy and very quite. But unlike other children who are woken up from their naps he was not irritated. He just seemed very quite. We tried to talk to the child and he just looked at us with his big doe eyes. We spent about 15 mins with him, talking to him.He responded a little bit, even climbed into my lap, took an offered apple and then promptly went off to sleep in my lap.
The second child they brought over was a boy of aroound 11 months. He was much more healthier and definitly iritated about being woken up from his nap. This one was much more fair skinned and seemed more active. However, even after spending 15 mins with him we felt no connection with him whatsoever.
Then they brought over two girls. they were siblings aged 2 and 3 years. The two girls were as different as chalk and cheese in their temperament. While the younger one was very active, running aorund, talking. The older one was quiet and kept on looking at us with sad eyes. We were told that ideally the orphange did not want to separate them, hence, if we should decide on them, we should look at taking them both home. The girls really were adorable and having a soft spot for girls we seriously contemplating about taking them home.
On the way back we discussed the pros and cons of all the children we had met. And decided that we were not ready to be parents of two children at the same time yet. So we had to reluctantly give up the idea of the two girls. Also, the fact that girls had a much better adoption rate at this orphange helped us feel a little less guilty. Current status, the girls have been adopted by a nice family where the husband works in Airforce.
And somehow the first boy had had an instant connection with my husband and me. We both a little fearfully admitted that we had felt a connection with him. Fearfully because as adoptive parents you have to know that the process is long and you don't want to get too attached to a child before you are sure that the same child will land up with you. So we took a deep breath, had a good nights sleep and the next day decided we still felt the connection, and told the orphange that we would like to consider the possibility to adopting the first boy.
Surprising to us, as we kept on wondering how did a boy come in the place of a girl we had always imagined for ourselves. But then sometimes we have to let powers larger then your take a call. And in this matter specifically, we wanted to go as directed by the universe. We were still a bit perplexed by the change of plans, but we agreed that we wanted to see how this went further along.
While we sat in the meeting room discusssing paperwork, we were asked how ready we were to take a child home. We said we were ready whenever. So the relooked at our application and asked us whether we had a reason for wanting a girl child only. We said that we wanted a girl child because we felt we would do a larger good by adopting a girl as boys in Indian society find homes much easier. Upon which they had a discussion with us and changed our application to a child of either sex since we would not say no to a male child should we like one.
Post which they suggested we meet a few children male / female who fell in the age range we were looking for.
So we waited at the reception and they brought over first a boy. His age was around one and a half years and he appeared a little tiny for his age. Also, he had been woken up from his nap, I think, cause he seemed a bit sleepy and very quite. But unlike other children who are woken up from their naps he was not irritated. He just seemed very quite. We tried to talk to the child and he just looked at us with his big doe eyes. We spent about 15 mins with him, talking to him.He responded a little bit, even climbed into my lap, took an offered apple and then promptly went off to sleep in my lap.
The second child they brought over was a boy of aroound 11 months. He was much more healthier and definitly iritated about being woken up from his nap. This one was much more fair skinned and seemed more active. However, even after spending 15 mins with him we felt no connection with him whatsoever.
Then they brought over two girls. they were siblings aged 2 and 3 years. The two girls were as different as chalk and cheese in their temperament. While the younger one was very active, running aorund, talking. The older one was quiet and kept on looking at us with sad eyes. We were told that ideally the orphange did not want to separate them, hence, if we should decide on them, we should look at taking them both home. The girls really were adorable and having a soft spot for girls we seriously contemplating about taking them home.
On the way back we discussed the pros and cons of all the children we had met. And decided that we were not ready to be parents of two children at the same time yet. So we had to reluctantly give up the idea of the two girls. Also, the fact that girls had a much better adoption rate at this orphange helped us feel a little less guilty. Current status, the girls have been adopted by a nice family where the husband works in Airforce.
And somehow the first boy had had an instant connection with my husband and me. We both a little fearfully admitted that we had felt a connection with him. Fearfully because as adoptive parents you have to know that the process is long and you don't want to get too attached to a child before you are sure that the same child will land up with you. So we took a deep breath, had a good nights sleep and the next day decided we still felt the connection, and told the orphange that we would like to consider the possibility to adopting the first boy.
Surprising to us, as we kept on wondering how did a boy come in the place of a girl we had always imagined for ourselves. But then sometimes we have to let powers larger then your take a call. And in this matter specifically, we wanted to go as directed by the universe. We were still a bit perplexed by the change of plans, but we agreed that we wanted to see how this went further along.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences through your blog. Wish you all the best in your journey. I hope you find the child that will make your family whole.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that I accidentally came across this blog. Whatever you have written just the replication of my thoughts. I am so overwhelmed.
Even we have started the adoption process, and we visited the adoption center in Maharastra.. Looks like the way you described could be the same too.
Right now in the process of preparing the paper work. Hope this ends soon :-).
I am glad that you got your son. Hope the journey is much enjoyable from here on. I would be delighted to see your reply.
Santhi
I'm glad to have found this blog. :) I am moving to India to marry my Indian boyfriend soon. I've known for a while I want to both adopt and have children biologically, and since we'll be living in India is logical we'd adopt from India. This is the first blog I've found that talks about Indian in-country adoption. I hope you'll come back and update us soon, tell us if you did end up adopting that first boy! :)
ReplyDeleteDear Santhi,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. Since i could find no other way of getting in touch with you, do feel free to leave a comment for me here with your email. Thanks and wish you the very best in your journey.