The go ahead.

After a week of diligent follow up with the clinic we were given a go ahead to come and pick up the reports. I immediatly made plans to travel on the next weekday though my husband could not travel due to work. Silently praying that all will be well with the baby, I arrived in the city on Friday morning and checked into the guest house provided by the orphange.

At 10 AM sharp I landed at the orphange impatient to see the baby. He was up and about and surprisingly recognised me as well. Post which I went about collecting all the reports and scheduled a meeting with the doctor to discuss the same. By 5 PM that evening, the pediatrician gave us a go ahead for adoption as besides malnutrition the baby was perfectly healthy. I called my husband and then immediatly called the orphange to give a final go ahead.

The orphange had been prepared for the same and gave us a bit of good news. They had anticipated the results and got us a slot on Monday at the court house for Foster Care Agreement registration. they wondered if we would like to take him home by Monday evening. We were ecstatic. Yes, we said.

And then it stuck me, I will be a mother in a matter of days. For a moment I panicked. Would I be a good mother? What do I know about what a one and half year old child needs? We didnt even have any clothes for him. Or toys. Then my husband asked me to stop hyperventilating and rejoice. Our dream was finally coming true.

Amazing!

Our second visit to the Orphange

After working delegently on our paperwork, we decided to go back to the orphange to have more of a final chat on the papers we have submitted so far as well as to find out the next step in the process.

While we sat in the meeting room discusssing paperwork, we were asked how ready we were to take a child home. We said we were ready whenever. So the relooked at our application and asked us whether we had a reason for wanting a girl child only. We said that we wanted a girl child because we felt we would do a larger good by adopting a girl as boys in Indian society find homes much easier. Upon which they had a discussion with us and changed our application to a child of either sex since we would not say no to a male child should we like one.

Post which they suggested we meet a few children male / female who fell in  the age range we were looking for.

So we waited at the reception and they brought over first a boy. His age was around one and a half years and he appeared a little tiny for his age. Also, he had been woken up from his nap, I think, cause he seemed a bit sleepy and very quite. But unlike other children who are woken up from their naps he was not irritated. He just seemed very quite. We tried to talk to the child and he just looked at us with his big doe eyes. We spent about 15 mins with him, talking to him.He responded a little bit, even climbed into my lap, took an offered apple and then promptly went off to sleep in my lap.

The second child they brought over was a boy of aroound 11 months. He was much more healthier and definitly iritated about being woken up from his nap. This one was much more fair skinned and seemed more active. However, even after spending 15 mins with him we felt no connection with him whatsoever.

Then they brought over two girls. they were siblings aged 2 and 3 years. The two girls were as different as chalk and cheese in their temperament. While the younger one was very active, running aorund, talking. The older one was quiet and kept on looking at us with sad eyes. We were told that ideally the orphange did not want to separate them, hence, if we should decide on them, we should look at taking them both home. The girls really were adorable and having a soft spot for girls we seriously contemplating about taking them home.

On the way back we discussed the pros and cons of all the children we had met. And decided that we were not ready to be parents of two children at the same time yet. So we had to reluctantly give up the idea of the two girls. Also, the fact that girls had a much better adoption rate at this orphange helped us feel a little less guilty. Current status, the girls have been adopted by a nice family where the husband works in Airforce.

And somehow the first boy had had an instant connection with my husband and me. We both a little fearfully admitted that we had felt a connection with him. Fearfully because as adoptive parents you have to know that the process is long and you don't want to get too attached to a child before you are sure that the same child will land up with you. So we took a deep breath, had a good nights sleep and the next day decided we still felt the connection, and told the orphange that we would like to consider the possibility to adopting the first boy.

Surprising to us, as we kept on wondering how did a boy come in the place of a girl we had always imagined for ourselves. But then sometimes we have to let powers larger then your take a call. And in this matter specifically, we wanted to go as directed by the universe. We were still a bit perplexed by the change of plans, but we agreed that we wanted to see how this went further along.

Spirituality and Adoption

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience,

we are spiritual beings having a human experience."

The basis of our spirituality lies in the above quote.

Authors like Michael Newton and Dr.Brian Weiss who have documented their case studies of Past Life Regression tell you that often a soul travels through time and lifetimes with a close select of souls who are its companion. They can come in different relationships in different lifetimes, but you almost always have an instant connection / attraction / recognition of the others.

How many time has it happened that you have met people you have instantly had a rapport with? And it seemed like you have known them forever. You can read the two authors books and decide for yourself what you believe in.

For us our beliefs are:

• We as souls choose the families we want to be born in.
• We choose the people who will come in to our lives.

The reasons we believe, as souls we choose to travel with a group of souls if because we either have some unfinished Karma with them, or we need them to teach us our lessons. Spiritually our child has already chosen us to bring him / her up. And now we need to trust the process of the universe to bring us together.

If we had decided on natural conception, the same child would have come to us. By that logic if we are inclined towards adoption, the same child will come to us. Or on other hand the child might have chosen to be born in another family (to learn its own reasons or fulfill its own Karma) and hence we have had this inclination for adoption. Cause we are meant to be a family, either way.

This might sound a bit mystic to some people who are not at the same place in the spiritual journey as we are. But to us this is our truth.

Why Adoption?

"There are 12.44 million orphans living in India. Yet only 5000 legal adoptions take place every year."

These statistics are provided by the Indian Government Adoption Agency governing body CARA. But statistics rarely have anything to do with anyone's reason for considering adopting a child. Reasons generally are very personal and in most cases in India MEDICAL.

My journey of realisation of adoption started much early in life when I was in my teens. My school was around an hour and half away from my home. And being brought up in a middle class family meant using public transport to and from school. A part of that travel used to be in local trains in the MAHANAGAR of Mumbai with its population of 12.47 million. One of those days while hanging from the door of a running train, getting soaked in the rain, my simplistic teenage mind thought if only there were less people in this world we will all be better off. We will have sufficient resources and not have to fight for space in the train, or in the bus, or for a college seat. The moment was so profound for me that I can still recall myself in exactly the same situation every time I think about it.

Though the idea sounded very simplistic at that moment, it started off a chain of thoughts and observations which has continued for the rest of the two decades of my life. The children begging on the streets, my 22 year old driver having 5 children with one more on the way, child labour, even Sushmita sen adopting a child before marraige was one of the things that solidified my intent to adopt along the way. They say if your mind is focused on something you will see it apprear all around you. May be that was the case with me as well.

So when I met someone I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I told him of my intent. He was open to the idea and didn't make too much fuss about a biological child either. That to me I think sealed the deal.

Sometimes I wonder about why the idea of adoption itself sits easily with some people while for others it shakes them to their very core in a negative way. Maybe it has something to do with tieing up our sense of self with procreation or with our future generation. Maybe my husband and I are more comfortable with who we are and not threatended by not choosing to procreate biologically. I might be wrong, but would like to hear from others on the same.

As life evolves, my spiritual leanings started to grow as well. Interest in reading brought about authors such as Dr.Brain Weiss, Michael Newton, even teachings of saints like the Buddha brought about a new understanding of soul contracts. But more of that in some other post. For now, it is important to know that I found myself "CALLED" to adoption in some strange way. I have never questioned it (though everyone else has a question for me on that).

So that was the WHY for me. Let me clarify it has nothing to do with any medical issue, either mine or my husbands. That does not go to say this is the case for other adoptive parents. This is how it is for us.